Improved Lives

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This is a great list of tips on how to make life more satisfying from one of my favorite new positive psychologists, Sonja Lyubomirsky.

There aren’t a lot of surprises here, in fact I’ve touched on most of the things Sonja mentions in this list. But it’s good to see all these tips for creating a more satisfying life in a nice concise place like this.

One thing from the article that did really surprise me though was this:

In his extensive work on adaptation, Edward Diener has found two life events that seem to knock people lastingly below their happiness set point: loss of a spouse and loss of a job. It takes five to eight years for a widow to regain her previous sense of well-being. Similarly, the effects of a job loss linger long after the individual has returned to the work force.

I was surprised to see job-loss on there with losing a spouse. I certainly wouldn’t think to equate the two.

So Lyubomirsky’s list of tips for creating a more satisfying life is as follows:

1. Count your blessings - One way to do this is a “gratitude journal” in which you write down three to five things for which you are currently thankful-from the mundane (your peonies are in bloom) to the magnificent (a child’s first steps). Do this once a week, say, on Sunday night. Keep it fresh by varying your entries as much as possible.
2. Practice acts of kindness - These should be both random (let that harried mom go ahead of you in the checkout line) and systematic (bring Sunday supper to an elderly neighbor). Being kind to others, whether friends or strangers, triggers a cascade of positive effects-it makes you feel generous ad capable, gives you a greater sense of connection with others and wins you smiles, approval and reciprocated kindness-all happiness boosters.
3. Savor life’s joys - Pay close attention to momentary pleasures and wonders. Focus on the sweetness of a ripe strawberry or the warmth of the sun when you step out from the shade. Some psychologists suggest taking “mental photographs” of pleasurable moments to review in less happy times.
4. Thank a mentor - If there’s someone whom you owe a debt of gratitude for guiding you at one of life’s crossroads, don’t wait to express your appreciation-in detail and, if possible, in person.
5. Learn to forgive - Let go of anger and resentment by writing a letter of forgiveness to a person who has hurt or wronged you. Inability to forgive is associated with persistent rumination or dwelling on revenge, while forgiving allows you to move on.
6. Invest time and energy in friends and family - Where you live, how much money you make, your job title and even your health have surprisingly small effects on your satisfaction with life. The biggest factor appears to be strong personal relationships.
7. Take care of your body - Getting plenty of sleep, exercising, stretching, smiling and laughing can all enhance your mood in the short term. Practiced regularly, they can help make your daily life more satisfying.
8. Develop strategies for coping with stress and hardships - There is no avoiding hard times. Religious faith has been shown to help people cope, but so do the secular beliefs enshrined in axioms like “this too shall pass” and “that which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger”. The trick is that you have to believe them.

Taking care of my body is one I’ve really been focusing on lately (along with the #1, the gratitude journal) and I’ve noticed some definite improvements in my general attitude.

Related to that, one thing I notice about lists like this is that it’s kind of overwhelming to see all these things you should be doing to enhance your satisfaction with life. My suggestion is to pick one or two that really appeal to you and focus on them. Don’t get overwhelmed and give up, start small!

Further Reading:
- You can read the whole article, which is an excellent one, here (page 1) and here (page 2) - It’s scanned from the actual magazine it appeared in, but is still very readable.

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